I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize