There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
