I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
