And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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