Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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