Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize