so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
sarcasm needs its own font
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
