I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
