I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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