Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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