Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
