Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize