New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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