Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize