When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
