Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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