A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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