I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
