we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My liver is preforming stress tests.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
