I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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