Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just blew my weed a kiss
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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