You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
