Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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