I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
