If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
