I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
