Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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