I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
