Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
