I wannas sexs uuuuu
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
