I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
