these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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