Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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