im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize