where am i from again
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
So. Much. Porn.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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