She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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