Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
