I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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