White coat. Heels.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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