im about as happy as oj after his trial
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
