I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
