you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
