Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
