Kiss
Puke
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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