He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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