Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
