lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is Oprah even human
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
