If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
