Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
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