this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
