I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
