i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
