is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
