my phone needs a breathalizer
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
