See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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