Im at strip club and am horny
True but thats because hes a fetus.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
