He is such a slut. More and more my type.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
