i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
