I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
