do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
