his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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